Monday, 01 September 2008

• What is Fear?

  
  We all feel it in our lives. It takes many different forms, but effects us in some cases on a daily basis. Sometimes only a faint flicker which passes with the moment, while other times it is so strong and overpowering that we are unable to function at all.

  There are fears that are triggered by our immediate surroundings, cases where our safety is threatened. There are fears that are focussed on events of the future. Fears that involve our emotions (failure, love, commitment, etc.). Fears that we have gained from our past experiences. Then there are fears that are seemingly unexplainable -- often in the form of phobias that a person can have either from birth, or develop later in life.

  Some people are scared to be themselves, while some are simply scared of spiders. They seem so vastly different in the scheme of things, yet they are the same emotion in a different form. It's the same feeling, even if it may vary in strengths, yet triggered by completely different circumstances.

  It's a fascinating subject when you really think about it. So very complex, yet the feeling itself is strikingly simple. When one is scared of something it is often hard to even reason oneself out of the emotion. It nags at you and screams danger, even when you don't see any.

  Fear is something I've struggled with a lot in my life. I've had some phobias since I was old enough to express them. Some of these I have overcome. When I was a child I was deathly afraid of bugs. Any kind! All that had to happen was a simple fly buzz past me and I was in hysterics. Screaming, crying -- acting like someone was trying to kill me. Why was I scared of bugs? Absolutely no idea. For the most part it passed over the years, although I still get creeped out with certain ones (especially spiders). Same goes with my fear of heights. When we first came to my apartment 17 stories up, I was terrified to go near the balcony. After 2 years of living here, I practically hang over the edge to look down. Granted, as with bugs, certain areas of that fear still remain but I have mostly overcome it.

  Then there's the phobias that came later in life. I was always a little bothered by anything with blood or gore in it as a child, but I was able to handle certain things. As I grew older, probably by the time of about 15, it had emerged into a full blown phobia. Panic attacks to the point of blacking out a couple times were a common phenomenon for me and still are. I don't know why I get so scared. Even during the attacks, I'm able to reason with myself that there is nothing wrong -- yet my mind screams different. If my doctor told me I needed to have a shot, they would probably have to sedate me or I would have a heart attack. It's that serious. I actually feel the same fear as if I was walking to my death.

  Another one has to do with commitment, although I won't go deep into that as it's a rather newly discovered one of mine. I never had problems that I was aware of a few year ago, but now it's hitting the serious level. I wonder what brought it on? There are probably events in my life that caused this one, unlike the others I mentioned above. Still, it's got the same effect. In some cases worse, because of what I may pass up due to it.

  So, I ask you -- What do you think fear is? What causes it? How can we deal with it? What are your personal experiences with fear?

  Blessings and Love,
  Sarah

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